I am Ratchet Snow White…
Cuz we all need some Ratchet Snow White in our lives
This blog post is sending out a big fuck you to someone who deserves to be fucking told off to their face. Mr. Silence. You know who you are.
You can be happy for someone else, but not me? What the fuck did I fucking do to you?
You know what I think? I think I moved on, and you didn’t like it. That’s all I can think of. But you know what I know? You are a fucking child. Ignoring someone for a reason you’re not willing to disclose is so fucking immature it isn’t even funny. so Fuck you. I was nice. I was willing to talk. Now all I want to do is scream in your fucking face. You told me to get better, I got better. You told me you didn’t want me. So I drove forward and fought the urge to want you anymore. I was so sick of you leading me on. Like, Why am I even bothering trying to resuscitate a friendship that was only there so you could try to get laid?
Because I’ve come to realize just that. Friends, they don’t get angry when you get engaged. they don’t shut friends out. Real friends don’t anyways.
You know where the attention was when I met you? On other guys. Just like your attention was on other girls you fucking hypocrite. You tried being a playboy and get pissed and jealous that I was the same way? But I changed??? How does that even fucking make any sense.
newsflash: it doesn’t.
So answer the question: Is it because I’m engaged?
yes or no. if you really are pissed at me and wanting to end this fucking “friendship” then have the balls to text me the answer.
This is a piece of shitty mid-2000s humour that I hope never disappears from the internet
Lessons in feminist praxis from Adventure Time.
So I have seen/heard:
- whole theaters gasping
- a mother gasping and shouting “HOW COULD YOU?” at the screen while her young kids told her to be quiet
- one boyfriend saying “HOLY SHIT, YOU DOUCHEBAG”
- another boyfriend saying “…did he just…? DAMN”
- yet another boyfriend saying “…ouch” with an audible wince of sympathy
- a little girl in front of me saying “…no” in a hushed, horrified voice
- and a girl around my age literally STANDING UP and screaming at the screen “YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!” while her boyfriend physically restrained her and tried to calm her down
Audience Reactions to the Hans Reveal: easily one of the best parts of seeing Frozen in the theater.
remember that time in high school musical 2 when Troy got all jealous because Gabriella started hanging out with Ryan and he thought Ryan was moving in on her
and it was like
yeah if Troy had just taken a look at what was actually going on
he would have seen
who Ryan was actually interested in
THEY ARE WEARING EACH OTHER’S CLOTHES