Kaitlin blowing smoke rings.
A reblogged reminder that I have gotten better at this.
Kaitlin blowing smoke rings.
A reblogged reminder that I have gotten better at this.
Is for a geeky, sweet, lovable, ambitious guy to fall madly in love with me
and sing songs to me for the hell of it.
even if they aren’t great at it.
I want to feel cared for when I wake up in the morning.
geez, I should put a want ad out XD
For the record everyone, my wish came true. :’)
2 years with the most wonderful dorky man I’ve ever met.
It’s been a blessing :)
I feel so badly for you, because you’ve fallen into what I fell into. Trust me when I say that I’m not writing this as an attempt to “get him back” I’m happily engaged and loving my future husband. I don’t care what David tells you about me being a crazy cheating bitch, don’t listen to a word of it. He is a snake charmer. And he is extremely manipulative.
I’m writing this as a warning, because you deserve to know what you’re getting into. He hurt me in so many ways, and broke who I was and sent my life into a downward spiral. His emotional abuse drove me to self harm (which he laughed at and mocked), alcohol abuse, paranoia, and above all else, I lost my self worth. I desperately want to know hes a changed man, but judging from how he spoke to me acting very courteous and formal, he hasn’t. that courteous tone he uses is his fake happy tone. He used it on his customers to act like a know it all. he’ll use it to anyone he talks to.
I know the bad side of David. I know the repeated break ups and nights of emotional neglect where his computer was more important than coming to bed and talking. I remember the paranoia of him cheating, which he called me crazy for. only to find out he’d invited the girls over when I wasn’t around. and even ended up dating one of them afterwards (which was short lived, and now the girl and I are great friends)
The last written conversation I had with him on facebook is a great example of how he treated me. I was hanging out with friends and my (now) future husband, and david called me a cheater for just wanting to spend time with my friends. To this day he’ll tell you that I cheated and left him. I cannot stress this enough I didn’t cheat on him. I left him for Freddy. I was sick of the abuse and the reign he thought he held on me. He cried for me back, tried getting me to hug him, all sorts of hoovering tactics to try to convince me to stay. Luckily for me, I ended the cycle. as should you. If he ever tries to manipulate you, hurt you, or make yourself feel like less of a person. Please, do yourself a favor and just leave the rat bastard. You’ll thank me for it. I promise.
And David, you bastard, if you’re reading this:
Fuck you. Fuck you and all the shit you pulled. Fuck you and fuck your psychopathic personality. You look like cable guy jesus and you smell bad. And I hope this girl gets her head on straight and leaves you.You are not worthy to call yourself a brony (which by the way, way to be 23 and still a brony), because the only thing you love and tolerate is yourself.
As close as you will ever be to a nuclear explosion
THIS IS FUCKING TERRIFYING
No thank you.
The columns of smoke in the foreground are telephone poles boiling
President Barack Obama
You remember when you said that?
I do. It was an afternoon in your old apartment and I sat on your couch and you said you understood why you were mad. It started when I began to hang out with him more than you. But could you blame me? For 2 years I had gone back and forth with you, thinking about if we could work together. even going so far as to sleep with you to test the emotional waters. But I noticed that you didn’t just get the attention from me, you got it from other girls as well, and I decided I wasn’t having any of it anymore. I wanted something real. not to be used as part of your ego trip harem. I went on dates, I tried being with my asshat of an ex, Hell, I tried to change your mind.
But it never worked. Nothing really clicked. We were really close friends and that was all it was ever going to be. I grew to accept that. And that’s when Freddy stepped in. I met him while I was talking to you. According to him he saw me in the campus mcdonalds and just “Had to get to know” me. From that day on things changed. You always told me I’d find better, you even said that you weren’t the type to give me what I wanted or needed. So when I found someone who did, I thought you’d be happy for me. as a friend.
You haven’t spoken to me since my engagement. I never understood why but according to the wonderful friends i’ve made because of you I’m not the only one who you’ve shunned off. Isn’t it exhausting? To constantly ignore people who actively try to be friends with you? aren’t you tired of being mean to people who have done nothing to you?
Either way, I tried pushing and pushing for a response and nothing ever came. When I got mad at you for insulting me and then you apologized in that note I thought everything was good. But then I got engaged, and you cut the ties.
And I want to know why.
Because I cannot believe that after me being with Freddy for 2 years and you being with your girlfriend for 2 years that my engagement would be enough to set your jealousy “off” so-to-speak. It isn’t logical, and I know you, you’re not stupid, but you do let your emotions get the best of you and I’ve seen it time and time again. I recognized it back then, but when I was in my wild and crazy years you and I were very alike. Only I was more outspoken about my emotions.
You’re only outspoken when talking about people behind their backs.
You know why Freddy and I spend so much time together and whenever we get time together we always are? Because we love being with each other. We don’t just love each other, we love the simplicity of sitting next to each other or eating dinner together or playing video games. He is my best friend and I am his.
And I would think as someone who lives with their girlfriend that you’d understand that.
But apparently I’m wrong.
Let me tell you how last night went from my point of view… I went to go pick Freddy up from work and we decided on having breakfast for dinner at Tolly Ho since it’s close to campus. Freddy goes to play the south park pinball game and Sean walks in. I say hi, because I haven’t seen Sean in about 2 years, and he mentions that you and erin must not be there yet.
I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE COMING. and I told him that I had no idea what he was talking about since you haven’t talked to me since the engagement. So freddy and I get our food and go sit down. and then I saw you and her walk in. and I saw you see us. and I saw you step outside and eventually leave. And after we finished our food we left so that we could go home and work on homework, and you blocked me on facebook. and Freddy too.
I don’t get why you’re mad at Freddy at all. Unless you’re mad at him for being with me. Which is stupid. Freddy did nothing wrong to you, hell, neither did I. So I don’t get why you’re not only mad at me, you’re mad at him too.
Let me make something really clear here too: I was not yours. You know that. You can’t get mad or jealous of me being with someone else or off the market for good because I was not yours to lose. well…. I mean, potentially you could, but you have no real place to.
And lastly, You had a choice to make 2 years ago.You made it. You would rather be able to be with any girl you want than be in a committed relationship, and then you entered a relationship with erin. That was your move. My move was to take what you said and not waste any more time on wishing and hoping and just get on with my life. And I am so happy that I did. It led me to the love of my life.
So I want to know why you shut me out. From you. Not from other people speculating with me, but from the horses mouth. I was not jealous or bitter of you being with Erin, I was not jealous or bitter when you moved in with her. I was happy for you. So why is it so damn hard for you to be happy for me? I didn’t go to tolly ho last night to make you mad, I went there to eat some goddamn biscuits and gravy.
I don’t even know if you’ll read this, but I hope you do. and I hope you’ll get over whatever anger you’re feeling or resentment or jealousy or whatever, and be willing to talk.
Dear Future Daughter:
1) When you’re at some party, chain smoking on the roof with some strange girl with blue hair and exorbitant large dark eyes, ask her about her day. I promise you, you won’t regret it. Often times you’ll find the strangest of people have the most captivating of stories to tell.
2) Please, never mistake desire for love. Love will engulf your soul, whilst desire will emerge as acid, slowly making it’s way through your veins, gradually burning you from the inside out.
3) No one is going to fucking save you, anything you’ve read or heard otherwise is bullshit.
4) One day a boy is going to come along who’s touch feels like fire and who’s words taste like vanilla, when he leaves you, you will want to die. If you know anything at all, know that it is only temporary.
5) Your mental health comes before school baby, always. If its midnight, and you have an exam the next day but your hands have been shaking for the past hour and a half and you’re not so sure you want to be alive anymore, pull out that carton of Ben and Jerry’s and afterwards, go the fuck to bed. So what if you get a 68% on the exam the next day? You took care of yourself and at the end of the day that will always come before a high test score. To hell with anyone who tells you differently.
Abbie Nielsen (via flowing-air)
I’d add one thing to my daughter, as I always do…
When a boy speaks…listen carefully, but when he acts pay attention. The words are always second to his actions, and rarely match when he’s merely a boy.(via wolfstravelsinmind)